Busy investors do not have (want to make) time for long verbose cover letters/emails for your presentation. Write for a skimmer:
  1. Keep it really short
  2. Cut out all management buzzwords and padding (synergies, engagement, strategic, flexible, ROI, etc.) that everyone else is using and which have become verbal white noise. Use conversational, human language
  3. Say how you got to her (our dads were in high school together)
  4. Say what you want early on (advice, money, intro to someone), and ask for a very specific next step.
  5. Prioritise interesting content of the pitch (unusual facts, case example, unexpected advantage over a well-known competitor (2x as many users as Facebook, etc.) over a well structured, complete, business school essay. You are not trying to get a grade for your mid terms, you are trying to get a follow up phone call. 
  6. Make it highly/relevant/specific to her: complements portfolio company x, y, z, matches what you spoke about at a conference last week.
  7. Use typography to break the text, to make it easier to speed read: big concept, 3 (short) supporting bullets, another concept, supporting bullets.

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